Written By
Desmond Milligan
I no longer have the energy
to explain my feelings,
to paint my pain in colors
that others refuse to see,
or to translate my silence
into something meaningful
for those who never cared to listen.
I no longer have the capacity
to walk people step by step
through the damage they caused,
to point out the cracks they left in me,
to prove the weight of wounds
they knew they were inflicting.
Because deep down,
I believe people knew what they were doing.
Some may not have meant harm,
but some truly did.
And it is not my responsibility
to carry the burden of their intentions
or to prove the scars they left behind.
I am done handing out explanations
like apologies.
I am done handing out forgiveness
like it’s a prize,
when it is a privilege.
I am done making excuses
for people’s poor behavior
just to keep the peace,
when it costs me mine.
Let them call me cold.
Let them say I changed.
Let them whisper that I became distant.
I am okay with being misunderstood.
Because I don’t owe anyone
a softer version of me.
I don’t owe fragments of myself
to those who didn’t value the whole.
I don’t owe explanations
to those who ignored my silence.
I don’t owe compassion
to those who weaponized my kindness.
I don’t owe access
to those who squandered it.
When their only regret
is losing access to me,
when they realize too late
that they could have cherished me,
that is a loss they will live with
not me.
Forgiveness is mine to give,
but now it is selective,
intentional,
and sacred.
It is no longer a reflex,
no longer a habit,
no longer a gift handed out
to those who never earned it.
Some healing doesn’t require noise.
Some healing begins in silence.
Some healing is simply the decision
to stop bleeding for people
who never cared if you were cut.
My forgiveness isn’t free anymore.
It will cost you honesty.
It will cost you accountability.
It will cost you change.
It will cost you the humility
to repair what you broke.
Because forgiveness without transformation
is just permission to hurt me again.
And I will never give that permission twice.
Scripture
“Produce fruit in keeping with repentance.”
Matthew 3:8
Message
Forgiveness is holy,
but it is not cheap.
Protect your peace,
guard your heart,
and remember:
true reconciliation requires change,
not just words.
